An Evening, In Pictures

Before bedtime.

Being patient, learning Yahtzee.

Strategizing, because that's what its all about.

Definitely planning his victory speech.

Over beverages.

Grace wins, big time. With over 500 points. Unheard of.

Almost Impossible.

Last week was crazy. Lindsay was in town for two nights before her move to Germany. We spent Wednesday night listening to music at the MOBOT and Thursday (the day I left for San Francisco), TM got sick and clung to me all morning---while I packed---with her death grip. On the way to the airport, I stopped at DSW to buy the only shoes in 7 shoe stores that were even remotely attractive and comfortable enough to wear two days in a row to BlogHer (and they were really not cute at all).

My flight got into Oakland at 11 PM on Thursday night and I caught a $60 cab over to SF. I was asleep by 12:30 AM (after Claire showed me how organized and color-coordinated her closet is) and awake by 6 AM. I didn't get my Moo cards in time (damn MOO!), so I had to squeeze in a frenetic trip to Kinko's before the BlogHer day started. I made my cards square so that they would stick out. Literally.

Here's the thing: I typically handle myself very well in these kinds of situations. I'm not shy and I understand the importance of marketing my blog and hobnobbing with other bloggers whose blogs I read on a regular basis. But, really, I don't love the feeling of aloneness and desperation that comes with feeling like you have to attach yourself to someone quickly before others think you don't know anyone and then no one wants to talk to you at all. Who does? Anyway, there's always a little bit of that in this type of situation. Luckily, I ran into a bunch of BlogHer ladies right away. And Caroline, who walked in with me---there were lots of squeals and OMIGODS!, so that kickstarted the weekend.

I attended some really interesting sessions, my favorite of which was the second day photography session.
The mommyblogging sessions were interesting, too, though more so for the observation potential than the substance. I was oh-so-excited to see some of these ladies in person! I attended a party on Friday afternoon where I had one glass of champagne (Thoughts at the time? This is going to be ugly.)--- that BlogHer night ended in Steph and me asking a woman at the hotel bar, "What are you drinking? That looks good! How much IS it?" Her response? "I think the rule is if you have to ask, you can't afford it." She was not a BlogHer. Then we got lost in the hotel on the way back up to Jen's room---Steph was convinced we were going to 589. The hotel was huge and there were all sorts of towers and elevators. Somewhere along the way, we realized we needed to be on the 8^th floor. Good material for the rest of the night.

The time that I wasn't at BlogHer was spent with Claire and John.

We had so much fun, too. John's a real trouper to have put up with us for three nights. Claire and I share a very long, rich history of sisterly friendship, i.e. we almost swung fists at each other on Friday night over attending the high school reunion and whether or not all people masturbate (I don't think everyone does).

John helped mediate. It was over the next morning, though, because we are older now and much more tired decided it was much more fun to lie together on the couch and tell each other stories about how funny we are.

On Saturday, Dooce spoke. I saw her walk in with her husband, Jon. She wore purple hose and a black and white dress---she's really tall and much prettier in person. I was very surprised to hear she has a southern accent---it somehow didn't fit my image of her. Regardless, she did a wonderful job of making the conversation relevant to her audience and even of responding to a strange interruption by a woman who had previously referred to her as a mythical creature (silence).

I woke up at 4:45 AM on Sunday after a terrible night's sleep (I was terrified I would miss my flight) to catch a 7:05 AM flight out of Oakland. I am oh so tired, but doing better today after having slept fitfully last night. What an experience! Next year?

See that header? See it?

Photobucket, I love you. You have stuck with me these last 7 days through the travels, the slow internet connection, the deletion of the perfectly fine blog header, and the new blog header (which represents my current circumstances). Love you! God, I won't even tell you how much time I have put into html, trying to perfect the blog header-all-by-itself, OK? It was always pixel-y and ick, but I like having pictures (taken by me) up there. Especially when they're pretty. There were also the borders, the centering, the font, the image itself, frustration, B sleeping through my internet addiction, and---the slow internet connection.

Friends of ours who own an adorable and totally chic secondhand bookshop have given me a key to the shop to use their high-speed internet connection, which they've purchased for business purposes. May the sun always shine on those two. Love them, too.

I'm in a great mood tonight---let me know if I can spread the cheer.

Toasting to a Visit...

Happy Wedding!, originally uploaded by theredheadedlefty.

from Lindsay! She'll be in town this weekend from Arizon, where she moved with her hubby, Nick, almost one year ago. We met in graduate school---actually, just before classes started. We worked as research assistants (i.e., gossip queens) for one of our University's mental health research centers. I thought she was too "put together" for us to be friends at first (i.e., I felt pregnantly scrappy and she was tall and looked cute in all of her jeans). Turns out we love, love, LOVE each other and she and Auntie Grace are my two surviving pre-baby St. Louis friends (and their two is like other people's ten).

She's way ahead of me---Have I mentioned she proposed to her spouse? And that they are headed to Germany to live? And that she stuck with me through the first year of Wynn's life (when there is no doubt in anyone's mind that I went cuckoo)? And that she used to live in a tiny apartment where, when you visited, you had to bring your own chair? Love that.

Going to be good times. Renee, her mama, is one of my most regular readers here. Renee, count on the pictures, sister.

Fear.

I was bathing Wynn
when B answered a call from a friend.
His wife (my buddy) had left the house
two hours ago---
with their daughter (Toddler monster's buddy).

They live nearby.

She's a photographer.
She was wearing her camera around her neck.
It's fancy.
She didn't have a diaper bag or her cell phone.
She had left them at home.

Totally unlike her.

She'd said to him, "We're going for a short walk
to take some pictures---
See you in a little bit."

When he called us, it was dark.
He had already driven the n'hood multiple times.
Couldn't find them.
I made some suggestions---
"Did you check the park?
We like to take the girls there."

My heart sank.

Her husband filed a missing persons report.
B got in the car to drive the alleys,
hoping to get to places where
they wouldn't otherwise be heard.

All the while I was preparing TM for bedtime.
Lotion applied,
books read,
hair brushed,
songs sung.
Just like we always do.

But I was TERRIFIED.
Where were they?
Were they OK?
Had they been taken?
Where was Ava?
Were they together?

I was on the phone with another neighbor
when her husband called.
"They're home. They had stopped by a friend's place---
the only place I didn't check."

"You tell her she's in big trouble!," I said.
But what I really meant was...
I haven't ever had anyone so close to me
disappear and just the thought of it
rearranged a lot of stuff, up top.

When babies are involved, mama bear goes all primal.

When I clicked over to give my other neighbor the good news
he said he was hanging up to make himself a drink.
"Shit," he said. "Shit."

We're glad she's safe.
That's all.
Thank goodness.

Celebrating your birth, ERJ!

On April 3, you were born
three months after I came into the world.
I didn't know then that we would be friends
for the rest of our lives.
I had high hopes, being three months old,
which you tested with your extremes-
-your crazy organization, obnoxious work ethic, and general moral uprightedness.
We balance each other out.
I've known you all my life.
I've seen all the stages of your hair (and there have been many)
and actually knew the boyfriend who tattooed your initials on his leg.
You're so far beyond that now,
but I will never let you forget it.
A study in contrasts,
you are a Christian conservative and I am a democratic heathen.
You're quiet and reserved and once diagnosed me as histrionic,
which I thought was hilarious and at least partially true.
How could we love each other this much?
It comes with time and lots of shared experiences, my friend.
You are my daughter's fairy godmother.
You were my maid of honor.
I love you to pieces and hope you have a very special birthday!

Cheers!

Here's where I ask that you pay attention.

My sister-friend, Erin, lost her father to ALS (commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig's Disease). Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that attacks nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord resulting in muscle weakness and atrophy. I'm posting some facts about the disease, and because her family continues to fight for ALS research (and a cure), here's the link where you can donate your dollars. Thank you.

The onset of ALS is insidious with muscle weakness or stiffness as early symptoms. Progression of weakness, wasting and paralysis of the muscles of the limbs and trunk as well as those that control vital functions such as speech, swallowing and later breathing generally follows.

ALS is not contagious.

It is estimated that ALS is responsible for nearly two deaths per hundred thousand population annually. More people die every year of ALS than of Huntington's disease or multiple sclerosis and it occurs two-thirds as frequently as multiple sclerosis.

Approximately 5,600 people in the U.S.are diagnosed with ALS each year. The incidence of ALS (two per 100,000 people) is five times higher than Huntington's disease and about equal to multiple sclerosis.

It is estimated that as many as 30,000 Americans may have the disease at any given time.

Although the life expectancy of an ALS patient averages about two to five years from the time of diagnosis, this disease is variable and many people live with quality for five years and more. More than half of all patients live more than three years after diagnosis.

About twenty percent of people with ALS live five years or more and up to ten percent will survive more than ten years and five percent will live 20 years. There are people in whom ALS has stopped progressing and a small number of people in whom the symptoms of ALS reversed.

ALS occurs throughout the world with no racial, ethnic or socioeconomic boundaries.

ALS can strike anyone.

Happy Birthday, Claire!

Circa 1990
It's the 28th birthday of Clarence Carter von Barterson (and her twin, Paul). Lucky me, I've known and loved those two crazies for 23 years. Miles and miles have separated us, but you can't quite ever do away with the friend who convinced you to walk around your childhood neighborhood swiveling your hips sexily and singing, "I must, I must, I must increase my bust!" She's in the Bay Area now, living the single life while I juggle the joys and challenges of toddler parenting and all that comes with it. I hope she's living it up and enjoying a beautiful San Francisco birthday!

I love you!

Auntie Claire, originally uploaded by theredheadedlefty.

Circa 2007

We'll miss you, David Schwak.

Ansley called this morning to let me know that Erin's dad, a pseudo second-parent to me, has passed away. He struggled with ALS for over 3 years, fought an amazing battle, and was able to see his eldest daughter marry (and his youngest daughter leave for college). Through the years, the Schwaks have been a source of stability and strength for me---through the early and adolescent days, I would spend days/weeks over at their house, singing karaoke, sitting out by the pool, and listening to her dad play the guitar. David played football for the University of Georgia during his college days and, so, when we were in college, the Schwak parents made regular trips to Athens (and were always the life of every party).


His diagnosis stunned the community and forced everyone into action. The family planned an enormously successful golf tournament and raised enough money to cover a large portion of his medical bills. Linda and David, ever happily married, spent a month at the beach two years in a row because that is WHAT THEY WANTED TO DO. The kids put their efforts into raising money for ALS research through community activities and fundraisers. Everyone rolled up their sleeves and got involved.


Seeing David only once a year was a startling reminder of how important maintaining relationships with people you love is. Once the very picture of a family dad, I saw him battle his growing dependence upon Linda for moving, speaking, breathing. The Schwaks lived in constant fear for his safety and peace of mind---sadly, ALS research remains quite young and its victims are left with many very scary questions about their own end-of-life issues.

Through it all, he maintained a quiet strength and composure in true David Schwak style. What a guy!

David Schwak, you will be missed.

Veggie Yum Yum

Veggie Yum Yum, originally uploaded by theredheadedlefty.

The meal? Amazing. Hubs made all sorts of good veggies and OUR FAVORITE! Crabcakes. Righton is in town, so she played with the camera a bit and ended up taking this pic---let's be honest, here, how great is it? And it really captures how yummy the meal was. We'll be sorry to see her go.

Welcome Home, Waldo!

I know your mama is going to take extra special care of you! You're really, really cute.

Happy Birthday, Katie!

Happy 28th birthday, Kate,
and happy almost anniversary
to you and your mate!

Three Amigas

Three Amigos, originally uploaded by Ashley333.

Saturday was my first night away from Wynn. In her life. Grace and I traveled to NW Illinois, to Renee and Bob's territory, for a festive shindig to celebrate Lindsay and Nick's 7-month-old marriage. A hell of a time. Grace and I had to stop at a mall on the way up to get something to wear---so we were running a bit behind. Turns out they waited for us to toast. Love them. So much fun. I hope Lindsay and Nick got our messages on their bathroom mirror.

Cheers!

Schwak Family and ALS

This is a link to a very important post. Thanks, Colleen!

Patsy Cline and Claire

I was reading the New Yorker tonight and happened across something or other about Patsy Cline and thought of Claire. Cline sings this great song called "She's Got You"---it goes like this:

I've got your picture that you gave to me
And it's signed "with love," just like it used to be
The only thing different, the only thing new
I've got your picture, she's got you

I've got the records that we used to share
And they still sound the same as when you were here
The only thing different, the only thing new,
I've got the records, she's got you

I've got your memory, or has it got me?
I really don't know, but I know it won't let me be

I've got your class ring; that proved you cared
And it still looks the same as when you gave it dear
The only thing different, the only thing new
I've got these little things, she's got you

One year, we took this song and put it back together to fit the state of our own relationships---better yet, one that Claire was in the middle of "wrapping up." Anyway, it was really funny to us and brought on many laughs. So, I downloaded this song for my ipod and will think of her every time I hear it.

Dear Lindsay

A poem for our good friend Lindsay,

who is the very bestest friendsy.

Ahem.

Congratulations on finding work,

we hope your new boss is not a jerk-
Anyway, you always have your jewelry making
and after that there's always baking (ha! send for our address, of course).
On top of that, you're making good choices!
Just listen to your inner voices.
We feel so sure that you're headed for great places-
just look at your two cute faces.

So enjoy the journey and what's to come-
give and receive lots of love and then some!
and remember---
We miss you every single day,
and we can't wait for November to play, play, play.

Grace in Haiti

So, two days ago I dropped off Grace at the airport to fly to Haiti for two months, where she will be doing some research on malnutrition of children in tandem with a program called Meds and Food for Kids. Needless to say, she was quite apprehensive about going (and even more so when she sat next to a woman on the plane who peed in a tupperware container without a top).

Anyway, she's doing what she needs to do. In the school of social work, there are essentially two paths: the social and economic development (SED) path and the mental health (MH) path. Way back in the day (Fall 2005), when I was in my core classes, I mingled with folks like her---whose goals in life were to make the world a more liveable and peaceful place for everyone. I had great conversations with the SED people and even made some very good friends. Most of them have just graduated and are headed off to Timbuktu or Ghana to do really important work.

When it came time to start picking classes for myself, I noticed that I had lost the majority of people that I loved from my core classes. They all went SED. I chose mental health because that's what I have always loved. I went to social work school with a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do there. When I realized that MOST of the interesting people in social work choose SED, it made me a little bit sad. I was also a bit nervous--- Was I boring???

Ha! Anyhow, I have made peace with that and have decided that I am just a special mental health social worker with a lot of even "specialer" international social worker friends. They add a little bit of spice to my life. I love to hear the stories of their experiences abroad---especially those who have been in Africa. I have always wanted to go to Africa.

But anyway, back to Grace---she's roughing it in Cap Haitien, Haiti until the end of August. B and I are convinced that this experience is going to change her in many ways, meaning that the QT billboard on the side of the highway with a picture of two soft drinks that says, "Crushed or cubed?" will probably send her into some sort of black depression. After all, she is coming from a place where a great many infants and children (and men and women) are starving and do not have access to food or clean water.

I am very proud of her and am looking forward to her return, when we can have a glass of wine and talk about all of our summer experiences. Click on the link above to follow her travels.

Erin's getting hitched...

She's on the right, next to her sister (Lindsay) and another good friend (Ashley).

2 weeks from Saturday, Erin! Congratulations!

Penix better be worth it!

Tomorrow, Lindsay starts the long journey to Phoenix, where she is moving with her wonderful spouse, Nick. We've been helping her get ready to go, making trips to and from her apartment and storing overflow in our basement for her parents to pick up on their next trip to St. Louis.

Thing is, and I have told her this, I have had the strangest feeling of disconnection from the upcoming move. On Monday we talked about her moving on Friday, and I was sort of thinking, "Well, OK, then I'll see you tomorrow, right? When we are going to do something. Oh, and can you hold the baby for a sec while I go to the bathroom?"

When I first met Lindsay, we had a class together and were working together in the Center for Mental Health Research at our school. My first impressions of her were that she always looked good (stylish and great hair) and that she was reserved. I thought that she might think I was a little off my rocker, seeing as how I almost immediately attached myself to her so that we could share little office gossip ditties. As it turns out, she is everything I could possibly ask for in a great friend. I find that her reserved demeanor is quite complementary to whatever demeanor I have and she even likes to battle it out on celebrity gossip and fashion magazines (which is saying a lot, believe me---we are social workers, for the love). But more importantly, she has always gone out of her way to be hospitable and utterly fabulous to my entire family (the hub, the babe, and the Gabe). We all love her.

Another thing that is extra-special about my friendship with Lindsay is that she never even THOUGHT of abandoning me when I had the baby and was a little bit loopy (ha) for those first months. Actually, now that I think about it, she was friends with me during my pregnancy---and what is less cool than walking around town with a hot and bothered 9-months pregnant lady? What a gal! If anything, I could count on her even more after Wynn's birth. She and Grace even babysat way back in the early days when most people cowered in fear of the little screamer. And she has seen me topless multiple times and doesn't even gossip about what milk-filled breasts look like. True friend.

And her family. What a bunch! They have taken us under their wings and treated us as if we have known them forever. They have been such a part of our scene that I think of them as friends, too. And it is really hard to think of not having them all around. We don't have so much support here on our island, so I guess now that I am really putting thought into what this loss really means, it kinda hurts a little bit.

Anyway, she's coming over in the morning to get her stuff (and her car). So we will say our goodbyes and then I will be weirded out all day because she is moving and I haven't wanted to think about it before. Poop.

Shop 'til You Drop

Or something like that...

Lindsay and I headed to Nordstrom today with no particular goal in mind, other than to browse and sniff out fun stuffs. When we first got into the mall (we were the first people there, literally), my mind started going berzerk and I was running around in circles and numbers and smoke were coming out of my head. Thankfully, Lindsay calmy brought me back to reality by acknowledging that we needed a goal or else I would go crazy. That is a good friend.

We ended up spending a lot of time in stores with makeup. I even had a couple of ladies applying makeup to my face (which I love, goes along with that whole "I like to be pampered" thing). There is a lot of great stuff out there! At Sephora, I found some non-shimmery (I loathe shimmer) Dr. Hauschka bronzing concentrate to mix with my body lotion to mask some of the "bumps" I have on my legs as a result of the hormone rollercoaster I'm on (breastfeeding).

We also made it to two H&Ms, looking for a smaller size in a great silky navy/cream floral-ish top that I loved. I love navy. Navy and green and pink. I'd have to say those are my favorite colors to wear. They also had a fun but vampy black silky dress that was cut down to there in the front. It was really, really fun but not something I would feel comfortable wearing to the wedding this weekend. I might scare some people with the cleavage. And the baby would for sure be all over me (she now pulls at my top and bites me when I don't respond to her desire to nurse).

With all of the SHOPPING and running around (and lunching) I was certain that Lindsay and I would catch the mall doldrums. Malls tend to bring out the worst in people (or the worst people out?) and so I try to avoid them if I can. But not today! And we had fun. It wasn't crowded with people and I don't think I saw one uberskinny teenager there. A successful trip.

Tonight, B and I watched the Scripps Spelling Bee on ESPN. I love it! Those kids are very bright, although I was a bit concerned by the obvious pressure on them to WIN. A couple of the kids were very, very serious. That made me sad. Anyway, wouldn't it be the most fun to have a dinner party spelling bee? I mean, all of the people coming would have to know they were going to be in a spelling bee. B and I decided that an "outside party" would have to pick out the words. But how fun? Or is it just us? Naaaaaahhhhh.....