Crested Butte Hills or Project #11?

What's up with subdivision names? In the suburbs? B and I went way out yesterday for a hike (in a park, on a river) here in MO and chuckled once or twice about them. The grandiosity! We passed one called New England Village. And you know there isn't a similarly constructed New England subdivision named Heartland(e) Estates or Midwest Columns. It makes me want to crawl under a pillow and hide. I grew up in a suburb, so I get it. And suburban Atlanta may be the worst of all. Probably is. Some of the names of subdivisions that were in my adolescent community are (Claire, please feel free to speak up here): Chestnut Ridge, Rolling Acres, Post Oak Square, East Spring Lake, Dorset, Mountain Creek, Arthur's Vineyard, Easthampton, Indian Hills, Waterford Green, etc. The list goes on. And on.

They're all about wanting to be something they are definitely not. You don't get the feel of the crisp air of a Rocky Mountain spring when you're driving down a street of mindboggling brickitude. And sameness. And none of it would actually be where it says it is. Or if it is, because many of these people have second homes, it's certainly not the Telluride you're dreaming about.

The subdivisions, or developers of, are increasingly competitive---in the 80s, my family moved into Chestnut Ridge (and I don't really know what a chestnut ridge looks like, but I don't think we had one of those in our subdivision---nevertheless, it was still a place that allowed for some great memory-making---and my parents really reinforced, "This isn't us, OK?" So I felt superior). But now, NOW, it's like an explosion of BETTER. For the sake of emphasis here, let's assume there is (for sure) a new subdivision (with homes all pooped out of the same construction model monster) called Versailles, where there are miniature elements of the original in the n'hood pool (Those minis? The developer found 'em when he image-googled "Versailles"). Oh, and suburban Versailles's teenagers climb up on the pool's mini models on summer nights to get high. Just saying.

Here's my niche: Don't take it, OK? I'll know you've taken it. I'm certain that it hasn't been done because I haven't seen it in Dwell. Go the other way, making a community of eco-friendly dwellings for families (and others for singles, perhaps) with ridiculously self-effacing names, much like the secondary schools in NYC (P.S. #3): Project #323 and, perhaps, the more affordable Project # 99---because you're in "The Projects" and there are a lot of people who've "traveled" out there (with post-collegiate education, plastic-framed glasses, skinny jeans, and a penchant for good scotch) who will find humor in it. And would never (otherwise) live in a suburban subdivision. And lately, those people have more and more money. So why not include them in the trend?